omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
i believe in u and ur pee
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
