so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
