I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
