He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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