This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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