It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize