If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize