just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
