That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
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