he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
