we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
