i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
