You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
We smell like vodka and hangover
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