So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
