What did we do last night that was yellow?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
