So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
