We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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