A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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