ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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