But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
