I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
