remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize