About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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