Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
