I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
