Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
