In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
