we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
