I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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