Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
