who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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