Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
