So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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