Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Randomize
