meet me or not, i'm out of control
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize