I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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