I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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