went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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