don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
