where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
