Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
