But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
