so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
