No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Its about making memories worth repressing
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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