Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
