Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
