Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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