she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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