Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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