I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
My bed smells like the plague
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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