i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
