how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
