just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
