4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
God, you're like boner-b-gone
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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