would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
