your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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