Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
