I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
