i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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