just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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