You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
