Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Send help, water and tortillas.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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