I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Randomize
