i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
