Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
