i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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