I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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