Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
