Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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