Non-Jews are for practice
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Randomize
